Cowboy Angel
June 25, 2018
It’s been five years yesterday since my best friend, my husband Ralph died in a traffic accident. It was early in the morning, 4:00 AM and his vehicle collided with a tanker truck hauling diesel fuel. He was working by Lac La Biche and we lived near Evansburg in Alberta. The night before he was to work I told him to leave at about 7:00 pm, stay the night at his mom's so he'd have a short drive to work in the morning. He chose to stay home he said so he could sleep with me. When he left at 1:00 am, I got out of bed, hugged him at the door, and told him I loved him. It's not something I usually do, get out of bed at 1:00 because I am a lazy ass when I am in bed sleeping but that night I got up and said goodbye. That was the last time I saw him.
When the police came to our door that morning at 10:00 and asked if I knew him, I said, “What did he do now?” Looking back on that remark, he wasn’t the kind of person who ever sent the police to our door looking for him. But as soon as I answered the policeman I heard Ralph say, in my mind, “I’m okay.”
Oh, I thought. It’s not him. Wait a minute, my mind told me. I never ever heard his thoughts in my head when he was alive, so it must’ve been him in the accident. I phoned his mom though, to get her to check the yard where he parked his vehicle before he headed out in the bus to work on the pipeline just outside of Lac La Biche.
When she and my nieces who were with her did not find his vehicle there, we knew that it had been Ralph in the accident. His vehicle had not been identifiable nor had anything else because when Ralph’s vehicle struck the tanker truck, it got stuck under the tank and was dragged down the road. His vehicle burst into flames and everything inside it was incinerated except for two pieces of paper that flew out of the window. One piece of paper identified his company and the other one gave our legal land location, which was how the police found me. When they told me about the paper with the legal land location on it, I knew it had been divine intervention that pushed those papers out of the window at the time of impact. That happened so they could find me to give me the news.
The interesting (or crazy as I like to call it) thing about this is that just about a month before Ralph died, we’d had the death talk, like when we feel we're going to die and all that. I told him that I was going to live for a long time. We don't know that Karen he said. We never know he added. I was getting signs right around that time that someone was about to die but never in a billion years did I ever think it would be my husband. The University of Alberta had phoned me because I am alumni and they wanted me to take part in a study by a student doing their master’s degree. The study was all about quality of life if the last ten years of your life involved a critical illness or if you died suddenly, which one would you prefer? One of the local banks had been calling our land line too, asking for some woman who I found after the first time they’d called me had passed. The second time they phoned for her, I told them they’d have a difficult time getting a hold of her since she had passed. Sorry, but I do have a sense of humour when it comes to speaking of the dead.
For about two weeks after his death, I woke up at 4:00 AM, so did his mom. It was like there was a time stamp and we were a part of it, part of the time he died.
I never understood what depression was like because I hadn’t ever really been in shock like I was with I received the news about Ralph. The year after his death, I experienced such a deep depression. Even though I was going through this, I never medicated myself because I knew it would just push the depression down deeper. I went into the depression really hard and finally came out of it one day, thinking, whoa, that was one hell of an experience. Now I get what depression is. I knew as well that going through depression was a gift so I would never ever discount anyone’s experience that was going through depression. It is a terrible experience but if you do get though it, you find that you are a much better person because of your difficult time.
The day Ralph died he appeared to me. I was sitting in a wing chair where we always drank our morning coffee in front of the wood stove. I saw him standing right in front of the patio doors. He looked like himself but he was dressed all in white, had a white cowboy hat on and had wings! He was there every single day until his funeral service. His brother-in-law wrote and delivered a wonderful eulogy about the Ralph before he got together with me. When I delivered the eulogy that I wrote in his memory, after his brother-in-law Billy read his, I saw him in my mind’s eye standing right behind me. He was ten feet tall. I could feel his love and presence at his service. The church was huge and it was full. So many people came to pay their respects to a great man and a superior farrier! My healing friends attended the service with me in support. Everyone of them had been with me when the police came to the door at 10:00 that morning. They gave me two full hours of Reiki right after we found out it was him in the tanker truck accident. I will NEVER forget how fortunate I was to have my very dear healing friends with me help me through this time. Every single one of them saw Ralph standing behind me on the church altar. That was the last time he appeared, my cowboy angel, but that night, the night of his service, it rained really hard. The sky turned orange. Near the horizon line in the northwest was the shape of an angel, and yes, the wings were spread. He was on his way.
Many people think that this is the only life we will ever have and that when it’s over, it’s over but I KNOW that it is very different. I have felt Ralph’s presence around me for the past five years. He’s caused me a bit of trouble when some gentlemen were interested in helping me when I needed help. It kind of made me laugh, because one time when I was trying to put gas in my sister-in-law’s vehicle. I was trying to figure out her capless gas tank because she wasn’t with me to help me. Two different very nice looking men approached me and then turned around and left. They didn’t help me for some reason. Finally I figured out how to put the gas in the tank, put the gas in, paid for the gas, went back to the vehicle, and got in. When I’d left the vehicle I had the Pitbull radio station on, but now there was a country song on. Not my cup of tea but it certainly was Ralph’s! After he died, he always put songs on my radio with messages to let me know that he loved me and never left me. He did the for his brother as well. The automatic seat, instead of adjusting to where I’d left it, went all the way back as far as it could, and then reclined, just like he used to set his seats in our vehicles. I realized that the men had left because they’d probably felt like they were not supposed to help me! No doubt they’d caught Ralph’s vibe, stay away from my woman!
People like me can see what many people do not. I see dead people (just like that kid said in that movie) but I see them in my mind’s eye. If the person was a strong person in this life and has a strong message, I see them like they are solid figures. Of course it’s in my mind’s eye so it is different than seeing a solid shape. I’ve done enough work on opening up my third eye to see things like this so it doesn’t freak me out (anymore). I’ve had some pretty crazy experiences with spirits and ghostees while living in Brazil and travelling in India but that’s a different story!
If you want to connect with your loved ones who’ve crossed over, you may wish to seek out someone like me just so you can talk with them, see if they have any messages for you, and of course, to know what they think it’s like being on the other side.
It’s been five years yesterday since my best friend, my husband Ralph died in a traffic accident. It was early in the morning, 4:00 AM and his vehicle collided with a tanker truck hauling diesel fuel. He was working by Lac La Biche and we lived near Evansburg in Alberta. The night before he was to work I told him to leave at about 7:00 pm, stay the night at his mom's so he'd have a short drive to work in the morning. He chose to stay home he said so he could sleep with me. When he left at 1:00 am, I got out of bed, hugged him at the door, and told him I loved him. It's not something I usually do, get out of bed at 1:00 because I am a lazy ass when I am in bed sleeping but that night I got up and said goodbye. That was the last time I saw him.
When the police came to our door that morning at 10:00 and asked if I knew him, I said, “What did he do now?” Looking back on that remark, he wasn’t the kind of person who ever sent the police to our door looking for him. But as soon as I answered the policeman I heard Ralph say, in my mind, “I’m okay.”
Oh, I thought. It’s not him. Wait a minute, my mind told me. I never ever heard his thoughts in my head when he was alive, so it must’ve been him in the accident. I phoned his mom though, to get her to check the yard where he parked his vehicle before he headed out in the bus to work on the pipeline just outside of Lac La Biche.
When she and my nieces who were with her did not find his vehicle there, we knew that it had been Ralph in the accident. His vehicle had not been identifiable nor had anything else because when Ralph’s vehicle struck the tanker truck, it got stuck under the tank and was dragged down the road. His vehicle burst into flames and everything inside it was incinerated except for two pieces of paper that flew out of the window. One piece of paper identified his company and the other one gave our legal land location, which was how the police found me. When they told me about the paper with the legal land location on it, I knew it had been divine intervention that pushed those papers out of the window at the time of impact. That happened so they could find me to give me the news.
The interesting (or crazy as I like to call it) thing about this is that just about a month before Ralph died, we’d had the death talk, like when we feel we're going to die and all that. I told him that I was going to live for a long time. We don't know that Karen he said. We never know he added. I was getting signs right around that time that someone was about to die but never in a billion years did I ever think it would be my husband. The University of Alberta had phoned me because I am alumni and they wanted me to take part in a study by a student doing their master’s degree. The study was all about quality of life if the last ten years of your life involved a critical illness or if you died suddenly, which one would you prefer? One of the local banks had been calling our land line too, asking for some woman who I found after the first time they’d called me had passed. The second time they phoned for her, I told them they’d have a difficult time getting a hold of her since she had passed. Sorry, but I do have a sense of humour when it comes to speaking of the dead.
For about two weeks after his death, I woke up at 4:00 AM, so did his mom. It was like there was a time stamp and we were a part of it, part of the time he died.
I never understood what depression was like because I hadn’t ever really been in shock like I was with I received the news about Ralph. The year after his death, I experienced such a deep depression. Even though I was going through this, I never medicated myself because I knew it would just push the depression down deeper. I went into the depression really hard and finally came out of it one day, thinking, whoa, that was one hell of an experience. Now I get what depression is. I knew as well that going through depression was a gift so I would never ever discount anyone’s experience that was going through depression. It is a terrible experience but if you do get though it, you find that you are a much better person because of your difficult time.
The day Ralph died he appeared to me. I was sitting in a wing chair where we always drank our morning coffee in front of the wood stove. I saw him standing right in front of the patio doors. He looked like himself but he was dressed all in white, had a white cowboy hat on and had wings! He was there every single day until his funeral service. His brother-in-law wrote and delivered a wonderful eulogy about the Ralph before he got together with me. When I delivered the eulogy that I wrote in his memory, after his brother-in-law Billy read his, I saw him in my mind’s eye standing right behind me. He was ten feet tall. I could feel his love and presence at his service. The church was huge and it was full. So many people came to pay their respects to a great man and a superior farrier! My healing friends attended the service with me in support. Everyone of them had been with me when the police came to the door at 10:00 that morning. They gave me two full hours of Reiki right after we found out it was him in the tanker truck accident. I will NEVER forget how fortunate I was to have my very dear healing friends with me help me through this time. Every single one of them saw Ralph standing behind me on the church altar. That was the last time he appeared, my cowboy angel, but that night, the night of his service, it rained really hard. The sky turned orange. Near the horizon line in the northwest was the shape of an angel, and yes, the wings were spread. He was on his way.
Many people think that this is the only life we will ever have and that when it’s over, it’s over but I KNOW that it is very different. I have felt Ralph’s presence around me for the past five years. He’s caused me a bit of trouble when some gentlemen were interested in helping me when I needed help. It kind of made me laugh, because one time when I was trying to put gas in my sister-in-law’s vehicle. I was trying to figure out her capless gas tank because she wasn’t with me to help me. Two different very nice looking men approached me and then turned around and left. They didn’t help me for some reason. Finally I figured out how to put the gas in the tank, put the gas in, paid for the gas, went back to the vehicle, and got in. When I’d left the vehicle I had the Pitbull radio station on, but now there was a country song on. Not my cup of tea but it certainly was Ralph’s! After he died, he always put songs on my radio with messages to let me know that he loved me and never left me. He did the for his brother as well. The automatic seat, instead of adjusting to where I’d left it, went all the way back as far as it could, and then reclined, just like he used to set his seats in our vehicles. I realized that the men had left because they’d probably felt like they were not supposed to help me! No doubt they’d caught Ralph’s vibe, stay away from my woman!
People like me can see what many people do not. I see dead people (just like that kid said in that movie) but I see them in my mind’s eye. If the person was a strong person in this life and has a strong message, I see them like they are solid figures. Of course it’s in my mind’s eye so it is different than seeing a solid shape. I’ve done enough work on opening up my third eye to see things like this so it doesn’t freak me out (anymore). I’ve had some pretty crazy experiences with spirits and ghostees while living in Brazil and travelling in India but that’s a different story!
If you want to connect with your loved ones who’ve crossed over, you may wish to seek out someone like me just so you can talk with them, see if they have any messages for you, and of course, to know what they think it’s like being on the other side.